


Deservance

by ayatos



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 07:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4658385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayatos/pseuds/ayatos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinami deserved the world and yet, much to his dismay, she was chasing death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deservance

I.

She’s the flower garden that leaves people in awe, wondering if life could be more than what it was. And he was the weeds that clog up the cracks on the sidewalk that made people groan in annoyance. And yet Hinami found herself falling for him despite herself, despite all her morals and reservations about him she couldn’t help the way her heart hammered when he spoke her name.

She spent hours awake at night staring at the blank ceiling and wondering if her infatuation with Ayato Kirishima was something she could easily explain–he was after all the blood relative of the girl who raised her, perhaps it was just her emotions latching onto something of familiarity. But she knew that was false hope, her feelings for him were far more than what she felt for his elder sister.

Should she tell him? God she wanted to but he was a hurricane, dangerous and hard to get close to without getting hurt in the process, and if she attempted to admit her emotional attachment to him she feared he’d shut her down so fast. But how many more lonely nights could she last like this?

II.

“I like you.”

“You what?”

“Like you, think you’re attractive and want something more between us.”

“Why?”

“Because”–her voice catches and she feels the dread threatening to drown her. He wasn’t outright denying her but the way he glares and the tone in his voice makes her sick. “I’m not sure honestly, I wish I was.”

“I wish you were too.”

“So do you feel the same?”

“Hina,” A pause. “you deserve better.”

III.

He can’t fathom what is going on that intelligent mind of hers to make her like him. He was a murderer, and a cold blooded one at that. He was that thing you run away from a night not the boy you hold hands with at the movies. And yet the girl who was the human embodiment of sunshine was confessing to him her feelings, her feelings for him. Ayato was unsure how to react to a love confession, in all honesty he wasn’t even sure how to react when she first wanted to be his friend years ago, and now he just tells her she deserves better.

It was the honest truth in his mind. Hinami deserved a boy who would put her first, not that he wouldn’t, a boy who would treat her like a princess, not that he wouldn’t, a boy whose world revolved around her, not that his didn’t.

Fuck.

He could lie to her–tell her that she deserved better and that he wasn’t interested–but he could not lie to himself. He was so enticed by her, so enthralled with everything about her and everything she did. Each time those slender fingers grazed his skin when she wrapped bandages on him sent his pulse into the stratosphere. 

It was easy to see why Ayato was so infatuated with her for she was everything anyone could dream of. She was kind, but not easy to use because of it, she was smart, but not cocky and manipulative, and she was pretty, but she most likely had no inkling of the beauty she possessed. However no one would suspect Hinami Fueguchi to be in love with him, the trained attack dog with a track record for hurting those close to him.

All of him wanted to confide in her these thoughts, to sit awake at night and tell her she was the one but he couldn’t. He would not let his own selfish desires tamper with her and her safety. And even though it burned his insides he’d keep his mouth shut about what he really felt for her.

IV.

Another night she spends staring at her ceiling expect tonight her what if’s have become why’s. Why did I tell him? Why did he say I deserved better? Why am I so in love with him? And the uneasy feeling in her stomach has become a heavy unsettling feeling that makes her want to drown. She put herself on the line only to be given a vague turn down, a half assed reply to her confession.

But could she blame him for not having the same feelings as her? The answer was no she couldn’t and that made it all worse. There was no one to blame but herself for foolishly thinking he thought her as more than a comrade.

V.

“I lied.”

“What?”

“I lied when I told you you deserve better, or well that’s not a lie you do deserve better but I lied when I denied your confession.”

Taken by surprise Hinami stares at him unable to discern if he was being honest with her as he admitted he lied the last time they spoke. “Then why?”

“Why what?

“Why lie to me?”

“Cause you do deser-”

“Cut the bullshit.” She interrupted him. He watched her small fingers clench into fists and begin to tremble.

“What?”

“Stop trying to be the hero for once, you lost your sister that way and I don’t want that to happen to us.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“You push yourself away because you’re so afraid to hurt people but you don’t get to make that choice for them. Don’t you think Onee-chan..I mean Touka would want to be with you if she could, if you let her?” Her lips tremble now matching her fists. “And I want you, despite everything and trust me I’ve thought about this a lot, so please don’t push me away too.”

Ayato can’t swallow what she’s saying, he feels like every facade he’s ever put up has been stripped in a matter of seconds by her. She was too smart for her own good. “Hina I’m sorry.”

He watches her step forward, fingers unclenching, and then he feels her lips on his. She’s soft against him, not that he expected anything else. As he also expected she pulls back quickly, face dusted with blush.

“Don’t say you’re sorry. Show me.”

“I will.”

“Good.”


End file.
